he is ..
•somebody i can trust ..
•somebody i hangs hopes on
•somebody who made me feel loved
•somebody whom i dared to say "he`s the one"
•somebody who would call to check if i`d return home
•somebody who said " i love you " without fail ..
•somebody who made me laugh my heart out ..
•somebody who would back me up in any situation ..
•somebody who wouldn`t left me out
•somebody who cares
•somebody who would feel the pain i felt
•somebody , whom every girl desire ..
he started like this , would he end like this too ?
i dunnoe, but he made me feel different .. different from all the yesterdays .. its like theres magic in him .. whenever i felt lonely or missing someone, my handphone will always vibrate, tells me that he`s calling .. yea, just like a few minutes ago .. i suddenly felt missing someone.. and then he called, juz to check if i had return home or not .. even its just for 45 seconds .. he cared to call ..
if i repeat the same mistakes i did to my fifth ex, i would never forgive myself .. coz it`ll be something that i`ll alwaez remember ..
my heart is throbbing for your love . my heart wishes to feel how love is like . but my heart will never forget how it feels like to be hurt .
coz this is the real me .
syasya-chocs 7:29 PM
24 July 2oo6
sigh... i really miss blogging... yeahh... no time to post any entries nowadays... packed with stuffs... kinda tired now coz i reached home at about 7.40pm... hehe...
lots and lots of things had happened... even a thousand words couldn`t describe it... sigh... 9.oopm when i wrote this... kinda happy though, getting back with my friends...
just now at the MRT saw a`ak... and his friends... haha... i couldn`t recognize him in the first place... its been a long time since i didn`t see him... sigh... he must be enjoying his life with his new gal rite now...
isn`t HE the sweetest guy i`ve ever met? i hope so... and i hope he has everything i expected from a guy; i hope the way he felt towards me would never change... and i hope he meant it... every single sentence, words....... i hope its true... i put my trust on him... asal jgn pijak my kepale suarr... slalu kene sak ngan jantanSSS... i feel like asking him, what really lies in his heart... did he love me as much as i love him? did he trust me as much as i trust him? i juz wanted him to be honest, that`s all... i don`t care if it might hurt, but HONESTY is the most important for me... sigh, yeah... i learnt all these from a`ak... who taught me abt HONESTY...
be honest my dear darling. just say what u don`t like about me. juz say if the feeling had changed. juz say anything. although it might hurt, but i dun care... like i`ve said before, as long as its HONESTY... it won`t hurt me that bad... trust me...
|| * SYASYA
syasya-chocs 9:01 PM
15 June 2oo6
sigh... there's really no love for him... i don't love him... i dunnoe y suddenly there's no feelings for him... now that i find him irritating, coz i just dont love him. i wanna break with him, but... if it hurts him, it hurts me too... i just cant do the same mistakes again... to break somebody's heart... if he ever know that there's no love, he would say im a pembastard or something... i just wanted to be single... single life is fun...
no, not fun... i mean... i still love my ex larh... i cant accept the fact that he'd left me... bustard me... although it hurts me, i cant forget him... i really cant... if time could turn back, i would not have let him go before he patched back with me... i miss him... i miss him... and... i still love him... although i noe, he would never come back to me...
let him be with me towards the end, for i still love him the way i used to... can i have him back? i prayed so hard every night, shed this tears for his return... coz i miss him soo much... that i just dont love the person im suppose to love...
and i noe that love cant be forced, im sorry darling if i have to leave u. if only im honest to u about the love is fading for u, maybe i would be free from the darkness, cos i have enough of faking, pretending and lying to u... please understand, and let me go... i noe it hurts u, but... this life is confusing... and i have to let go off some problems ...
me and only me can make myself happy... life's is all about choices... but some choices came only once in a lifetime... and i've made the wrong choice to leave him in the first place, and now im deciding if i wanna leave u...
|| - syasya
syasya-chocs 10:04 AM
5th May 2006
ari nie my adek nyer birthday. i bought her a keychain of her name. i hope she love it. coz i love it too. and i spend all my money on that. coz i love her too.
yesterday i went to the library with my friends. met faisal coz he said he wanna give me something. it was my birthday gift in advance (9th of May). i really really appreciate it. he gave me his pic, a ring with my name engraved on it, and a necklace. it really look great on me. =D below are the pics!!
it was not the price that matter. It was sincerity that matters. im helping him to stop smoking. coz i dun really quite like smokers. i tried to help him, try my best, for him to quit smoking.
my birthday coming soon. but. i know it will be a disaster. i mean, it always happen like that. can anybody break the spell? anyone?
- syasya
syasya-chocs 9:51 PM
29 April 2006
LIFE.
sumtymes, we do have to make painful decision in life. i realise that life is full of ups and downs. many at times we do feel lonely and cried. i did that too. in the silent night when everyone is sleeping, i cried. all the pain in my heart. i let it out in the dark night. "nobody cares" i though.
the screaming in my head is so loud. i tried to let it out but cant. maybe it's stuck in my head. i dont know why but, i prefer to be lonely at home. i don't share secrets with my family members. i don't think it make me any good. what i did was; to cry when i feel hurt. when nobody's watching.
friends are who i have. them, to share secrets with. they know how i feel, because they had gone through these pain in life. hard times in life. how to overcome it? sigh...
|| - syasya
syasya-chocs 10:04 AM
26 April 2oo6
today just return from school . go art room do work... i mean.. homework... after that, waited for my friends to complete them while syairah and me take pic using the artroom computers. ( see the pic up there? ) actually, we weren't suppose to do that... but... who cares?
quite tired arh... the movie kept repeating in my mind...!! "take the lead"... you guys should watch it... especially those who loves hip hops... the songs are new and cool... and now i hope to get "take the lead" soundtrack for birthday!! =((
nah... that's all larh... =))
- syasya
syasya-chocs 6:09 PM
20 April 2006
akhirnya, cerita kami berakhir pada 18 april 2oo6. kini, diantara kita, tidak lebih hanya sebagai kawan sahaja. Tetapi, jujur kepada diri sendiri, walaupun dahulu kita bersama, ianya sama seperti kawan juga... mungkin inilah permulaannya...
ku harap kau biasa-biasa sahaja... maksud ku, ku tidak mahu airmata mu berderai akan keputusanku. serba-salah ku buat nya. apa yang ku ingin adalah kau berbahagia dan mendapat pengganti tempatku dihatimu...
bukan ku tk sayang. bukan sengaja ku putuskan hubungan. masalahnya, kepalaku runsing. diriku diselubungi pelbagai masalah. ku tidak mahu kau salah sangka atau meragui akan kasih sayang ku terhadap mu, kerana ku jarang berhubung denganmu... pleh itu, ku fikir lebih baik kita berpisah...
maaf sayang
|| - syasya
syasya-chocs 8:53 PM
